what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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