Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize