Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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