I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize