? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
