I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
