i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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