I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What a dumb baby whore.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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