hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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