so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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