I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
