i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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