I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
