i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
