So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
