its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
