She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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