Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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