Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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