ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
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I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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