i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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