garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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