you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
