i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
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It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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