Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
