Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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