i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
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Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
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We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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