what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
