this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
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I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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