So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
