I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So here I am, sexting at work.
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