There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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