Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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