the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
