wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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