Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
