so explain again why im purple
no
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
