I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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