Are we in a gay sports bar?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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