The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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