If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
