i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
