When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
