My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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