dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
