Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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