I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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