Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
