Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
