I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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