i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
