New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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