okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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