Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
