You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize