hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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